Things I Could Have Gone My Whole Life Not Knowing pt. 1

So I'm helping this old man, at least 70 years old, get a new phone today. He asks me to show him the alarm function. Since he gets an hour for lunch, he naps in his car. Why is his old ass still working? That's probably a question Arthur Anderson can answer. Anyway,he proceeds to tell me how he really hates the whole hour lunch thing. He says "back when you're younger, you could just go play with yourself. Can't do that anymore." Yep, could have gone my whole life not knowing that!

It's a Dick on a Roof

So we all know how cool Google Earth is right? Satellite images of our houses, cars in the driveway and everything. I suppose it was bound to happen, I just can't believe my little cousins didn't think of it first. A year ago 18 year old Rory McInnes climbed on the roof of his home and drew, yes folks, a giant penis. A helicopter spotted the giant wang and alerted The Sun newspaper, who informed the McInnes'. How I wish I could have been the one at the paper. "Sir, we're just giving you a quick courtesy call to let you know there's a dick on your roof." Rory is currently out of the country, but once he returns he'll be expected to climb up there and rub it out. Man, the internet is awesome.